Dear Cruz...

Happy Six-Month Birthday Baby Boy! I can’t believe you are a half a year old. The last six months have truly been the craziest, most rewarding, and most fulfilling months of my life. It’s hard to believe that just six months ago, you were this brand-new, fragile, tiny tiny baby, and now you are a sitting, smiling, solid little boy with so much love and so much personality.

It's hard to believe that just six months ago…

…I woke your daddy up at 3 o’clock in the morning to tell him you were on your way. I insisted on taking a shower and putting on makeup, and your dad anxiously packed bags that weren’t ready to be packed, and stared impatiently at me as I tried to relax my nerves with a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

…We settled in our hospital room for what we thought would be a long day of labor. We walked the halls hand-in-hand, tagged every hand sanitizer machine we saw, and munched on popsicles and ice chips. We seemed quite relaxed amidst the anxious nerves flooding both of our minds.

…I felt like a super hero. Like I was about to face the most important, life-changing challenge of my life with bells on.  I pretended I was Superwoman and made it through all the processes I once feared: having my blood drawn, sitting still through an epidural, watching the contraction monitor move up and down to mark how 'hard' the contractions were, and of course, delivering my first born.    I realize now that I really didn't have much time to worry.  I had waited long enough.  The entire experience only reaffirmed my faith in God.  There's just no other way to explain it.

...I held you in my arms for the very first time.  I grabbed your slippery little body and smooshed your face against mine.  It was instant connection, instant peace.  Life was changed forever.

...You became the first 'Cruz' delivered by our doctor.  You were the first grandson on both sides.  Everyone said you looked just like your dad.  I remember feeling so proud, so overwhelmed, and so in love.

Six months ago today, you changed our lives forever.  And while your dad and I are still learning how to become your parents, you are teaching us more about life than I ever imagined.  How to let go of those not-so-important tasks that used to take up so much of my day.  How to soak in the simple treasures that occur on a daily basis: the wind that takes our breath away, the texture of a blade of grass, and the soft touch of a fresh chamois sheet.  How to find joy in the seemingly senseless things.  How to trust others, and love others in a way that isn't self-serving, but innocent, pure, and real.  I love living this life with you, and can't wait for all that's in store.  

Summer break awaits us, and we are going to have so much fun.   

Happy 1/2 Birthday, Cruz...